Very few of the women who were advertising seemed to be looking for anything I would consider a "normal encounter. I typically wrote two or three paragraph replies and matched the tone of their own messages, then attached a couple of tasteful photos of myself.
I didn't get a single reply from an actual prospect this way. It turned out that most of the ads were fakes from scammers, and quite a few fell into another category all together.
Prostitution is what made Craigslist controversial. There's technically another section for that — "Adult Services," formerly "Erotic Services" — but that's not the only place you'll find practitioners of the world's oldest profession.
The prostitutes of Craigslist speak in code, but it's not a difficult one to learn. They advertise "French lessons" — an odd thing to advertise under "Casual Encounters," don't you think? Well, it's obviously a euphemism for something else. Many of the ads that weren't from scammers were from prostitutes.
The ads are so obvious that it's surprising the euphemisms are effective in fending off law enforcement. Then again, maybe they are law enforcement. Amidst all those failures, I had one near-success. A woman wrote in response to my sweet "cuddling first" ad saying she was in town for only a couple of months, and that she was frustrated she couldn't find a relationship. When she sent her pictures, she looked plain but attractive. We exchanged a couple of e-mails over the course of two hours, tossing back and forth lists of interests and the like.
She made it clear that she wanted to meet up, and while she talked about starting slow, it was clear that it would indeed be a casual encounter. But when I suggested a time to meet — the last message from me before I would reveal myself and back out — there was no reply.
At least, not yet. The next day, she e-mailed me saying she was deeply apologetic and that she'd fallen asleep. She said she'd like to meet up sometime. So yes, there are women on Craigslist. Well, at least one! You've probably guessed by now that the experiences for heterosexual men and women on Craigslist's casual encounters are quite different. I observed that for every ad a woman posts, there are at least 20 from men.
If nothing else, that imbalance ought to alter the experience. To get the female perspective, I did two things: I posted a fake ad as a woman to see what kinds of responses I would get, and I interviewed two women who have had success hooking up on casual encounters in the past.
As for potential suitors, I asked only that they supply a photo and "be attractive and not creepy. There was a five minute delay before my ad appeared, then I started receiving about one response per minute. Most of them were careful to say "I don't do this often. Some sent pictures of themselves naked along with the word "Hi. There were a lot of expressions of sympathy over my fake breakup. I was hearing from men of all types, and it seemed I had my pick of the litter.
After about thirty minutes, though, my post was flagged for removal. I thought I'd made it look legit, but as we learned earlier, folks have good reason to be hawkish about scammers.
After the end of my test run with Craigslist casual encounters, I decided to get more insight into the female experience with the site by interviewing two women who said they had successes meeting up with men on Casual Encounters. Their problem was the opposite of mine. They had too many options to pick from, but they both dealt with the numerous choices in the same way.
Both women ultimately responded to men who they felt put effort into writing long, personal messages as opposed to quick notes. Multiple paragraphs of insightful and relatable prose won out — but only after the initial test of physical appearance.
Both said they immediately eliminated men who opened with pictures of genitalia — a very common practice. However, looks were important. One of the women I interviewed said she once had a crush on a client at her job, but couldn't make a move without compromising her professionalism. However, she was looking through Casual Encounters and saw an ad from a man, and she recognized his writing style — it was her old client! She sent him a message to see if it was him, asking a question only he would be able to answer.
He proved his identity and they ended up hooking up. One of the women said she would go to Casual Encounters when she was looking for a very specific sexual experience — something you can't always count on from a one night stand that starts at a club or bar. The other said her reasons could be summed up as "curiosity, boredom, and convenience.
The trick is to keep an open mind and not have any real expectations. At the very least, it's mildly entertaining. After all this exploration, I'll say that Craigslist casual encounters is a place where people go to find very specific things from each other that they might not be able to conveniently locate in the real world.
Some of those things are very alternative. It's a last, best hope for some people who are looking to make a personal connection, but it's full of spam, unwanted attention, crime, and, well You might not find what you're looking for, but you're sure to find something interesting regardless. Image courtesy of iStockphoto , nights , geotrac. Samuel Axon is a digital content producer in New York City. The stories that inspired me to try out Craigslist were all written by women.
I know many of you ladies have kinky desires waiting to be filled. Brett Tanonaka writes the weekly Sex on Tuesday column. I have been using kinkyads. Have you guys seen this site yet http: It surprises me that people actually think a beautiful woman needs to post an ad on casual encounters.
If they are free and pretty they can walk but the door and meet someone. I checked out the site. It seemed to be more Hookers, cheaters, disturbed, homelyand homewreckers on there than anything. What I am baffled by is why anyone would trust that these women and men are disease free.
Why would anyone single married. Honest, your comments seem genuine and considered, so let me answer you in the same tone. I have met several women on casual encounters. About a third of them were beautiful. Sure, they have other options, yet casual encounters remains a good one. Yes, there should be a better, safer forum for people to meet that are GGG. There are healthy, fun people like us out there and we should all meet up. How is the Daily Cal publishing this crap????
Some questions for you, Brett: What social expectations of femininity and woman-hood deter women from frequenting sites like Craigslist? WHY do you think women are not as likely to be comfortable with casual encounters even though men and women are equally horny? What about expectations of masculinity and manhood make it acceptable for men to frequent craigslist? A statistical conclusion that men are on craigslist more than women is not material for a column.
What makes casual encounters desirable for you? Or is just about finding a partner like in any other social context? How does the anonymity of the online world affect the assumptions we make about the potential partners we browse through?
How does the anonymity of the online world make the browsing experience a sexual experience in itself? Some people masturbate to the postings themselves- what do you think that says about our sex culture?
Have you tried those? What are your observations of the cultures on those platforms? Most useless article ever. Did the author think he was doing a groundbreaking social experiment or something? Please keep our community civil. Comments should remain on topic and be respectful.